When I was younger, I had no doubts that magic was real. I believed that bears with shamrocks and sunshine etched on their bellies were just as capable of saving the world as a group of teens with elemental rings that summoned Captain Planet.
Unfortunately as time passed my belief in things like these faded. With every tragedy, with every struggle that life dealt me it became all too easy to just resolve that life is hard and the only magic left in the world was the power of endurance.
Lately, all I have wanted to feel was the belief in magic again.
Now, as you know I am a bit of an enigma in our day and age. I had a conversation with a friend a couple of nights ago about the subject of my blog. He was generally perplexed as to how I could have possibly never had sex before. He went through a list of conclusions to be drawn as to why this could be so.
-I am bat shit crazy.
-I am super religous.
-I am waiting to fall in love.
-I am A-sexual.
We then discussed each thing he listed in detail.
Bat shit crazy. No, no I don't think I am. I think I am pretty grounded in reality and although I definitely have my eccentricities, I don't see myself ever slashing some dudes tires because he told me I was pretty and then didn't call the next day. I'm pretty easy going and a law abiding citizen...so...
He agreed. And since he's known me for a while now, I was comforted in his validation on this point.
Super religious. No. I grew up in the Bible Belt yes, but I have always had an inquistive and open minded nature and I didn't strap on any kind of Jesus Chastity belt...and unless some higher power is preparing me to give birth to the next Messiah without my consent or knowledge we can go ahead and rule this conclusion out right now.
He and I laughed.
Waiting to fall in love. I don't sit around and wait for things. It's not who I am. It's not what I do. I don't think falling in love and sex go hand in hand either. I think sometimes they of course do, but sitting around and waiting for an idea of what I maybe think love is or could be seems counterproductive. Too much pressure.
He and I agreed.
I'm A-Sexual. Haha, noooo. I am not. Not at all. I have a soft spot for watching documentaries and I recently watched a piece on the subject and I can safely assure you that I am not an A-Sexual. I go on dates guys...I swear. Not often but I do, do that kind of stuff.
He and I discussed my last dating disaster and laughed, again.
So after we sorted through all his theories I brought up my favorite theory of all.
When my friend Allison learned about my chaste ways she without missing a beat, blurted out with gusto...
"YOU'RE A UNICORN!"
This will ultimately go down as my favorite response ever.
It made me feel kinda cool. And guys, as an old virgin it can sometimes be hard to feel cool unless Tina Fey is on TV talking about how she was an old virgin too...am I right, ladies?
But why not embrace being a damn mythical beast? Because now that I have, I feel some pretty strong magic welling up inside of me. I've got an interesting story to tell. I've got friends with infinite magic oozing out of them willing to help me tell my story. And maybe once I do share my full story I can make people feel a little less alone with the things that make them feel different and judged. Because we are all in this together. And just because magic isn't what I once thought it may be, it's still very real. We all have it within us, we just have to not be afraid of it and let it shine through us with confidence.
Basically what I am trying to say is that if I were a Care Bear, my belly would have a unicorn on it.