Monday, April 21, 2014

Quinoa, Honey and Metaphors.

I went grocery shopping today.

This is big news.

I don't cook. I always claim that I am bad at it and while I have proved this claim correct many times, it's more that I just don't have time or care to.

That and I realized in the grocery store today that this may be an area of my life where I am truly ignorant and inexperienced...said the old virgin...ha.

A grocery trip for me generally consists of buying apples and cliff bars and if I am feeling wild I will throw in a pint of Ben and Jerry's Frozen Greek Yogurt.

You don't have to cook those things.

As I was aimlessly roaming the aisles I felt pretty overwhelmed. So I took a time out by the flowers and I googled "sensible grocery list for one."

Turns out typing those five words into your google search is pretty depressing.

It also turns out that when you search "a sensible grocery list for one" it doesn't pull up lists of cookies, cake, candy and cat food. I was fully expecting those results because when I hit send this feeling of loneliness coated my entire being like a base of smelly paint primer.

So I sat there sifting through all of these "Single Savvy Girl's Guides to Shopping" until I eventually gave up threw my phone in my bag grabbed a basket and I ventured forth.

In these months of stillness I have found myself searching for other people's ideas of what I should do with my time, what I should feel about my status in life and there I was looking for someone to tell me what I should buy at the store.

WHAT IS THAT?

For a moment I was willing to just shop from someone else's list. A list full of things that I wouldn't know what to do with or even want because it was easier to just have someone tell me what to do.

But I don't eat peanut butter that often. I wouldn't have a clue what the hell to do with sunflower oil and I hate cantaloupe.

Buying these things because some woman thinks every single gal should have her kitchen stocked with these things...well it's dumb.

So what do I want?

What do I need? What can I work with?

WHAT DO I WANT?

Do I want to learn how to make quinoa? Yeah sure. I like it and it's pretty hip.

Put it in the basket.

Do I need more honey for my tea? Yep. Been meaning to get it for WEEKS!

Put it in the basket.

Do I want trail mix? Hell yeah. I love trail mix but I never buy it.

Put it in the basket.

This continued for a while until I felt I had enough food to last the week.

Perhaps all of this is fundamental and I just missed the memo or didn't read it but today I got my groceries and mostly, I got perspective.

Like I said in my post from last week, I am taking my time with being still. And today I forced myself to comb the aisles and to simply just get what I want and not feel like I have to subscribe to anyone else's idea of what that may be.

Needless to say, I was the most empowered girl walking down Steinway at 10am, stumbling with my groceries.

And while I cooked a big batch of lentils and quinoa (that's right, I figured it out and the apartment is not on fire) I realized that I am pretty good at cooking.

And while I sip my tea, I am thankful that I took the time to remember that I needed the honey that I so often forget about.

And while I think about my busy day tomorrow, I am excited that I have trail mix to throw into my bag.

I got what I wanted. Not what I think I should want.

And the most exciting thing of all is that I want so many things.

So many.

I just have to remember that I don't want what's on someone else's list...because taking time and searching for what's on my own list...well it's just smart.


....did I mention I love metaphors?


3 comments:

  1. Another awesome piece of writing and insight there!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Agreed, you have to do what works for you. If you're not sure what to do with the quinoa...

    http://www.masonjarsalads.com/tag/quinoa/

    ReplyDelete